In the middle of the darkness

It's the darkest time of the year. And the reason why it is even more darker here is the lack of snow. It's December and no snow anywhere!! It all mealt away in a second. Was the winter already? I certainly hope not. It would be terribble: no skiing, no skating, no snow war... no fun. :(

It's soon Christmas and the end of the year 2006. It's also the deadline of my thesis. I know I will be late but not a lot. If nothing totally surprising comes up... And it usually comes, just before everything's ready. :) The work has been interesting and at the same time stressing, tiring even devostating at times when nothing works out. And I've been thinking whether I've been even ready to do the thesis. I don't know. Sometimes it feels that the three and half years have gone by and I haven't learned a thing. How can I make the thesis which should show all the skills I've gained? But still, I'm working on it..

I've also been thinking of the future lately. I haven't got much studies left.. what then? I have absolutely no idea! My mom always says that the faith will decide what my destiny will be. It'll come.. I don't even know what I'd like to do.. and is the forestry really my thing? This year I've felt strongerly that this is my thing than ever before. But still I'm not sure. What if I made the wrong choice some years ago? Why didn't I apply for medical school.. or to study pharmacy. The two fields I desired.. what made me come to study forestry? I still don't know.. but still hope to figure it out someday in case I'll stay in this field. :)

Another topic of thinking: friends. The Christmas time is the time when I and my highschool
friends will be back in our hometown and again it's time to meet. Since we graduated and left elsewhere to study, the meetings haven't been the same. This is quite obvious.. people change, grow up. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the high school days... just to enjoy the careless atmosphere for a while. Not that I have anything against the people I've met during my years at the uni. They are magnificent as well. :) Too bad you sometimes get to know some features about the person you've thought as your good friend and you don't like the features. It's not nice because all the good moments you've spent will be set in the shadows of the bad thoughts. And if it gets further enough, your friendship will never be the same, if there will be any friendship left.. That's always sad.. :/

Okay, enough thinking in the middle of the darkness.. :) I bet the snow would light my mind again.. I'll be back before the year is over... to remember all the memories of this great year 2006.